Destiny vs. Free-Will

I’ve always had an interest in what is destiny and what is free-will. Is our spouse, partner, family, close friends, colleagues destiny or free will? Which difficult situations are meant to be and which ones are due to something we could’ve avoided? What positive gifts and events are due to destiny and which due to our own initiative?

I’ve intuitively tuned into different phases in my life to get information on this. My clients have wondered the same thing so we’ve tuned into this as well. My conclusion is that both are true.

We have soul contracts with specific people to learn and grow. Sometimes the outcome with these souls is destiny and many times the outcome is free-will choice. What we do with the learning and healing around it is always free-will choice. A good example on destiny, with soul family, is from my own life.

I met my ex-husband when I was 15 years old. We were good friends for 10 years before we dated and married. When I was around 17 years old, I did a reading on him. I remember seeing him with a woman who looked a lot like me with dark brown hair. He was with someone with sandy brown hair, at the time, so wondered if they’d stay together. During the same reading, I saw him with a woman with very blond hair, following the dark haired woman. I figured he’d likely be with both of these women. I didn’t realize, at the time of the reading, that I was the first woman and that the second woman is the person he’d be with after me–his current wife. I later concluded that it must have been destiny that we were not to be together, long term, so that he could have experiences with both of us.

Some situational challenges are destiny and lesser ones free-will. In all instances, what we do with it is free-will. An excellent example, of a destiny situation, is with a good friend of mine.

Around five years ago, I moved into temporary housing since I couldn’t find a home to purchase that I liked. The space I was in was much smaller than my previous residence so I didn’t have room for all my belongings. A friend of mine offered to store my books and an exercise bike at her place until I found a place to buy.

A few weeks after I stored my things, I kept getting the message, “you should pick up your books.” This message repeatedly came into my mind. So much so that I told my friend what I kept getting. She said, “I have plenty of room at my place–no reason to move your books.” I ignored the message and a day after telling her this message, her house burned down due to lightening hitting her roof and starting a fire. We both realized that this message meant that her house burning down had some sort of destiny component to it or else I wouldn’t have received this message in advance.

In hindsight, my friend learned a lot from this painful experience along with other difficult situations that went on in the family simultaneous to this one. The most important outcome, from this situation, was she became extremely close to her adult daughter. They have a bond between them that will never be broken and they know they can rely on each other no matter what.

We all have gifts we came into a lifetime with that are important to use. If you’re good at something, keep using your gift(s) since this makes them stronger. There’s no sense playing small and not using them or not using them to their fullest extent. Using them helps others and sets a good example. The best thing we can do is mentor others and want them to be at our skill level or even at a higher level than we are at. The better we all become, the better for everyone! The goal is to help each other which makes the world a better place to live!

Destiny vs. free-will continues to be an interest and curiosity for me. It does tell me that we come into a lifetime with specific gifts and to be with specific people for learning. We may have unrealistic or cultural based expectations, for our life, that may not be aligned with what our Higher Self really wants for us. Our Higher Self doesn’t base our learning on what is acceptable by our ancestry, religion or society. Sometimes the learning is to break us out of these rigid expectations.

Acceptance and surrender are key if we want to be happy and get the most out of our lives. Each life is a only a blink of the eye compared to vastness of our soul. After all, we are Divine Beings having a human experience.

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Maureen Higgins, MA, Alternative Counselor, Workshop Facilitator
Wings of Freedom

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